


Rookie Mistake

by AuthorToBeNamedLater



Series: Keeping Up With The Raptors [31]
Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hockey, Alternate Universe - Sports, Gen, Hockey, Humor, Montreal Canadiens, NHL, National Hockey League, Raptors, Seattle, Sports, Team Bonding, Team Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-13
Updated: 2014-12-13
Packaged: 2018-03-01 05:54:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2762111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuthorToBeNamedLater/pseuds/AuthorToBeNamedLater
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mountain Dew and hockey don't mix.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rookie Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on a roll lately! This is likely to be my last upload of 2014, so I hope it's enough to hold you until I get back. Merry Christmas/Happy New Year, Raptors Nation!

Mark Shearer had been playing hockey most of his young life and knew the game could tire mind and body. Running up and down the ice, fast starting and stopping, watching out for the other guys who might be in the way—all of it took tremendous energy that spectators didn’t usually consider.

Over the last few months, Mark had learned that the NHL could be as exhausting as the game itself. 82 games in the regular season alone meant about three games a week. Seattle wasn’t within a day’s drive of any team but Vancouver, so away games meant long flights and often time changes. Even the greatest of traveling secretaries (and the Raptors made a point to tell theirs he was the greatest) couldn’t help a delayed flight, late bus, or incompetent front desk agent. Even without any of these things moving an NHL franchise was like trying to steer the Titanic.

Mark had known all this, at least on an intellectual level, going in. But knowing and experiencing were two completely different animals. He’d always been something of an insomniac, and a six-hour flight clear across the country followed by every-other-day stops in seemingly every city on the East Coast were not helping. By game time in Montreal, the rookie was beat.

So in the wisdom of 20-year-old males everywhere, Mark loaded up on 20 ounces of Mountain Dew to get through that night’s game against Boston. But as he stood in the tunnel at the Bell Centre, Mark realized this had been a historically bad idea. He was wide awake and now had another problem.

“I really need the washroom,” Mark groaned.

“Why, you need to wash?” Jones quipped, jabbing at Mark’s Canadian dialect.

“Shouldn’t have had the Mountain Dew,” Ronny answered Mark.

“How much time do we have?” Mark asked.

“Not enough,” Hank said. “You’ll have to wait for intermission.”

“That’s like an hour from now!” Mark protested.

“Or you could go in your jock strap,” Mikey suggested.

Mark turned around and gave his linemate a dirty look.

“Those are your two options,” Ronny said.  
.  
.  
.  
“Shearer looks a little uncomfortable,” Obenshain observed halfway through the first period as the whistle sounded for an offsides call on the Canadiens and Shearer rested his stick on his knees to take a few deep breaths.

“He’s looked pretty stiff all game,” Wheeler added. “Will LaJeunesse didn’t mention anything in pregame interviews, but Shearer is definitely in some kind of pain.”  
.  
.  
.  
“You gonna make it, Shep?” Mikey asked, gently clapping his center on the shoulder.

“As long as we can run the clock for another 12 minutes, yes,” Mark panted.  
.  
.  
.  
“What’s up with Shearer?” LaJeunesse wondered aloud.

“He drank half a liter of Mountain Dew before the game and now he has to pee,” Zhenya said.

LaJeunesse felt his concern morph into exasperation. “You’re kidding.”

“Nyet.” 

LaJeunesse looked out at the ice, where his rookie center was moving with all the grace and agility of a drunken sailor. “Idiot,” the coach muttered under his breath.  
.  
.  
.  
Mark had nearly caused a Raptor pileup in his race to the restroom as soon as the siren sounded, his teammates’ laughter chasing him all the way. He’d been fine until the end of the second period when Coach LaJeunesse had noticed signs of dehydration and sent him to Doc. Now, Mark spent the last part of the game in the trainer’s room with Doc shoving Gatorade at him.

“Have we achieved neutral buoyancy?” Doc asked, a smile playing at her lips.

Mark swallowed another gulp. “I will never do that again,” he vowed.

Doc laughed. “It's a learning experience. We all have them. Maybe next time sacrifice Candy Crush for a full eight hours, hm?”

“Mikey's never gonna let me hear the end of this. He'll go on about it all the way to Ottawa,” Mark groaned.

“It's a short flight,” Doc said sympathetically. “If he bothers you, ask him about the time he had to dress like The Little Mermaid for a Halloween party when he was in Washington.”

Mark looked up. “He what?”

“He won't give you any more grief if you bring that up.”

Mark's brow furrowed. “How do you--”

“Just keep it in your back pocket.”  
.  
.  
.  
“Nobody get between Shep and the washroom!” Mikey crowed right after the Raptors' jet reached cruising altitude.

Mark turned around in the seat. “Hey Mikey, what about the time you dressed like The Little Mermaid?”

The plane fell silent and it seemed every eye turned to Mikey.

“Where did you hear that?” Mikey demanded.

“Word gets around,” Mark said. “Care to share?”

“No.”

“Oh, no. I think we need to hear this,” Sandy said.

“This could be a good team bonding moment,” Janko mused.

“I doubt that,” Mikey muttered.

“I don't.” Gunnar was in on it now.

“Mikey.” Hank leaned into the aisle. “Out with it. Captain's orders.”

For the next ten minutes the entire team got to hear about the time Mikey Palmer donned a red wig and sequined mermaid outfit just to make the kids at Children's National Medical Center smile for a couple of hours. It was a pretty embarrassing story, especially the part about how the Verizon Center had played “Part of Your World” the next night when Mikey scored.

And Mark was fairly confident Mikey would never give him a hard time about the Mountain Dew Incident, as he'd taken to calling it in his head, ever again.


End file.
